Sunday, February 20, 2011

Why such a negative view?

I was searching the internet today and came across some upsetting comments about breastfeeding. This may not be anything new or even surprise us Mummies...... it seems we find ourselves defending our choice to breastfeed more times than we like to admit.

But this time it was an article from Circle of Moms about the World Health Organization recomending Breastfeeding to 2 years old or beyond. Now the article was very well written and had wonderful positive ideas and tips.  However... on their FaceBook Page, well that is a different story. The amount of comments was so horribly negative. 
Here are some of the comments that made my blood boil... (now please keep in mind that these are DIRECT comments that I copied and pasted as it.... I did not touch them!)

"the age of 2 or beyond!! this just isnt practical!! the last i was told it was 6 months as breast milk after then had no benefit? they ought to make their mind up!!"
 "Maybe where there is lack of nutrients in 3rd world like Amy mentioned! Once they get teeth NO WAY."
"they are suppose to be weaned off a bottle by then....why would you give them your breast!!! My friend is having this problem, her daughter is 1.5 and WONT stop breastfeeding! And I agree, at that age they need to be fed solids, drink from ...a cup....TEETH would HURT!!! Dogs don't even breastfeed that long, I think the REAL issue is some woman (and I know one personally) who just like to breastfeed, not in a perverted way, but it is more for their comfort and desire than the childs actual needs! Yes, I know someone like this, because she offered to BF my daughter one time!! YUCK!"
"To me that just seems like child molestation a child should not be breastfed past a year. Anytime after that just seems gross and well it's just gross!"

Now this was just a few of the comments..... and there were positive comments as well. The last comment really made me mad. Really... this mom is calling breastfeeding past one year child molestation?!?!?! Wow.... Could this be the problem we have when we are out in public and feed our babies? Is this the mass majority of what the public thinks? If so.... how are we ever to get past this mind set of breastfeeding? How are other moms ever going to feel confident enough and not feel attacked when people have these mind sets?!  Just such a shame.

I, for one, am so happy to be still breastfeeding my 15 month old. And to the mom who said that it was the mom's comfort over the child's needs.... REALLY?! You know...... yes I love breastfeeding........ But I also have not been away from my children.... ever! Do you think that I don't want to go out by myself, go out with my husband without babies? I sometimes dream of a quiet night alone with my husband........ but we have not done that since we had kids. We put that dream aside because we know that I can not be far from our little Nummie lover. I do not breastfeed for me.... I breastfeed for HER. (And no, I can not pump because she refuses to take bottles or even anything other than water from a sippy cup. But wait that is probably my fault because she was exclusivly breastfed for 6 months.)

All I have to say is GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR you mom's are not HELPING!

RANT over... thanks for listening!

-Jacky

9 comments:

  1. it is sad that mums feel that way about breastfeeding. i love the comment about the dogs, puppies are breastfed by thier mothers untill they self wean, normally around 3 months. humans live 9-10 times longer than dogs, so if you compare it that means human babies would bf for around 30mths before self weaning, sounds good to me!
    also nipples are good for babies teeth and speech development bottles are not!
    i will continue to bf my 18mth son untill he self weans, despite my friends and family making fun of me and sometimes being downright horrible to me. i don't want a medal i don't want a pat on the back, i just want to be left alone to do what i feel is natural and best for my son.

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  2. WOW well said! I love your last comment about not wanting a medal! Could not have said it better myself! But... I will give you a cyber pat on the back! hehe

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  3. oh and my sons 16 teeth do not hurt me because he doesn't feed with his teeth!

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  4. Thank you for your rant! It is negative mindsets that make it difficult to stick to your guns. I am still having a hard time deciding to ween my 11 month old or allow him to ween himself like his sister did. The only difference is that she weened herself at 9 months and he is showing no signs of stopping soon. I know that there are still benefits for him (and me) past 1 year, but the social stigma is very difficult to get past. Especially since he is so big and looks like an 18 month old already! I just wish that people would take the advice of their grandma's when it comes to breastfeeding (or any other choice of parents for their kids)....."If you can't say something nice, then DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!"

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  5. the social stigma is hard for many...but as my husband says "who cares what they think!" I say do what you feel is best.....if your little nummie lover wants some of mummie's nummies then let him have at it!
    thanks for commenting and keep your head up!

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  6. I really struggle with this as I already have criticism about my desire to nurse past age 1 and my son is only 4 months old! I feel like I've heard it all: "He shouldn't be breastfeeding if he can ask for it!" and "if you do it past 1 year, you are doing it for yourself and for selfish reasons!" It's really discouraging- will we have to nurse in private the day after his first birthday? Really? I'm really prayerful that I will have the support and courage to do what my instincts tell me is right and to do what is best for my son, despite negative comments and looks from others.

    It really is something you can't judge until you are there. I never thought I'd even consider past 1 year. But I never expected it to be such a rewarding, special and miraculous experience and I did not know the research that supports breastfeeding until you and your child are ready to wean. Thank you for writing posts like this that encourage me to trust my heart.

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  7. Erin, you are so welcome and I hope you know you are not alone! Hang in there! It just makes me sad you face this with family.....

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  8. The comment about dogs not BFing that long.....wow! That person just made themselves seem very uneducated and lame. A coworker of mine and I just had a convo about this the other day. We were talking about how, even though we both know breast is best, it's hard not to judge the women who BF older babies. We have a hard time wrapping our narrow little minds around it because we have been told since we can remember that this is wrong. Then we feel bad for even thinking that way, because we now know better....and yet we can't help it. Thanks so much society for ruining what should be a wonderful thing.

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  9. thanks for being so honest Vanessa. I have to agree with you though...I too felt the same way years ago. It is a shame how society makes us feel the way we do.....even when we know better. I no longer feel that way (shocker I know!) but I can see why some people do. But it is time that way of thinking changes.

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Thanks for commenting!