Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"Oh I did not know she was still doing that."

Have you ever heard that comment? Coming from a stranger that would most likely put you in a defensive position. But what about from a well meaning  family member?

While celebrating my oldest (and retired) nummie lover's 3rd birthday, this past weekend, I was putting Kit Kat down for the night. Yes.... I hold her until she falls asleep every night (call it what you will; habit, not wanting to let go, attachment parenting.... or what ever). We sit on the couch, she straddles me while hugging me and I rub her back. We sit this way for about 45 minutes before I put her to bed (while asleep) for the night. My grandmother saw this and said smiling "Oh is this reminiscing of when she nursed?"  I looked at her and smiled. I told her that kit Kat still nurses 4 times a day, and this is just how she falls asleep at night. In a sweet expression she said "Oh I did not know she was still doing that."

Only a grandmother can say this and get away with it. Only a grandmother can say something like that in such a sweet way that there is no mean or judgmental under tone to it. I smiled back and said, "Yes, grandma.... she is still doing that."


What comments have you gotten...... that in another situation could be a negative comment, but was seemingly harmless?

7 comments:

  1. Yes, I hear this all. the. time...and my daughter is only 10 months old. :/

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  2. You are so right.. Only a grandma can get away with that!

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  3. "Only a grandmother can say something like that in such a sweet way that there is no mean or judgmental under tone to it."

    So you weren't upset by this, right? You don't feel like your grandmother was saying this in a judgmental or negative way? I think it's a gift to be able to hear comments like this, and take them in the way they are intended. In other words, if you know your grandmother didn't mean any harm by it, I think it's wonderful that you were able to smile, and respond to her with a simple, "yes."

    I'm afraid that we so often *do* feel judged, that we sometimes respond defensively when there is no need to, and where doing so actually creates negativity that didn't need to exist.

    Good for your grandmother for asking about your nursing in a non-judgmental way, and good for you for responding in as equally kind a manner.

    Go mummie, and grandmummie!

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  4. @ Carrie:
    Yes I took it as a non judgmental comment. I don't know too many grandmothers who can be horribly judgmental and crude at the same time. So I took it as a sweet ol' comment. :-)

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  5. I definitely get it. I am nursing my 14 month old and my almost 3 year old. Until about 5 months ago I was nursing my other daughter until she weaned herself (yes, it DOES happen! LOL). Once my kids are 14-16 months old though, they are really only nursing a few times a day. And from 2-4ish it's only MAYBE once a day or once every few days. But it still shocks people, so much so that I really try to avoid people knowing (which is sad).

    On the same note, I can't believe some people think they are still nursing around the clock or something. And it always cracks me up that sometimes the comments come from the same people who, for example, allow their children to have a pacifier until they are 6 years old or something like that.

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  6. @joyfilled:

    OMG you are so right about the paci use thing! HOW funny! I never even thought of that! Good come back next time huh?! hehe

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Thanks for commenting!