So are we infact helping Satan overtake our world each and every time we breastfeed? Are we infact weaning our infant boys into oral gratifcation as they grow up? OHHHHHH how about this comment:
"We found that many young people who engage in breastfeeding, even if they stop at the age of 2 - oftentimes partake in what secular humanists call, 'third-base sexual activity' before marriage," said Dr. Jonathan Edwards. "Our study also concludes that breastfeeding leads to sloppy kissing, drooling, teat fetishes, and cattle buggery."
Okay seriously? Put an end to breastfeeding , even put together 'The Fight To Stop Breastfeeding' fundraising kickoff party? Talk about HOLY BIBLE! A woman, Sister Taffy, was quoted in saying
"I had Ezmirelda, my daughter Rebecca Grace's wet nurse, wean her off the teat when she was old enough to walk to the fridge and pour herself a glass of milk," she said. "Personally, the thought of anything attaching itself to my body and sucking the Holy Ghost life force out of me is revolting. The first thought that comes to mind are those old colored women with their boobies hanging down to their knees. They don't get those big sacks from eating all that watermelon. No, its from having 6-8 of their children leached onto them until they are in their mid-twenties! Glory!"
OMG! And I am not even done yet!!!!! Had enough? Well hold on..... there is more!
The Pastor was quoted in saying:
"In a world where toy manufacturers are slapping vaginas on Barbie Dolls and convenience store owners think nothing of selling toy testicles and candy suckers in the shape of male sex organs to young children, a Christian's response must be to put on the full armor of God!" stated Pastor Deacon Fred. "In these last days, the Devil will take many forms. Us True Christians® are the only people who can see Satan in just about everything, and it's our job to expose him, even if it makes us look ridiculous to the unsaved public. It's just a shame that now have to take something as innocent as nursing a young child and call it a sin. But Satan doesn't give us a choice, folks. We are at war with unseen forces and principalities of darkness who will stop at nothing until they drag every single person on the face of this planet straight down to Hell. With this in mind, won't you please join us in our fight to end breastfeeding? Your checkbooks are like little tiny daggers you can throw into the devil's backside. Praise!"
So basically I am raising Kit Kat (well and Pooker too) to be drooling, sloppy kissing, third base messing around BEFORE marriage, illegal cattle touching girls?!WOW maybe I should stop breastfeeding and hand over my check book!
Okay........ so this article was a spoof..... but I had to do some digging to find out! HEHE GOTCHA!
Happy Tuesday Mummies and Daddies!