Wednesday, June 15, 2011

When a mummie says no

(First, please let me say that I do not judge a mummie if she chooses not to breastfeed. I am very passionate about it..... but it really does boil down to choice.)

So, last week I found out a family member of mine is preggers! I have not seen her in many years, but through the wonderful world of the internet.... we have been in touch. I am just so excited for her, really beyond words, that she is pregnant. This mummie has experienced more loss than I can truly ever imagine. She has suffered two horrific still births and lost her baby boy (2 yrs old) to SIDS back in 2008.

So being the Mummie that I am.... I congratulated her... I mean a new baby!!!! That is awesome! Then being the MUMMIE that I am.... I asked her if she needed to talk breastmilk to let me know. She then said "yeah, been there done that... not doing it again. No thanks." I then said that if she changed her mind that I was here.
(Hoping for a different reaction.......) But she just came back with "Thanks... but I won't."

I think the wind was YANKED out of my sails. In the words of my 3 year old "OUCHY!" That really hurt! Now I am not going to compare my losses to hers..... I barely made it through two miscarriages...... she had to make it through two still births and then lost her only son years later. But going through our miscarriages AND almost losing Pooker...... those experiences made me the "lactivist" I am today. I wanted only the best for my miracles. The fact that they were strong enough to make it through the whole nine months of pregnancy, proved to me that I had to do ALL I could to keep them healthy.

Okay, sure.... we may have gone a bit over board at times...... paci cleaners, hand sanitizer in every pocket of the diaper bag and cup holders in both vehicles, teaching the word "dirty" very early on, veering down the other store isle when we hear a kid coughing or even sneezing. We are happy to say we are germaphobes. I know that not all people are like us...... I know not all people want to breastfeed.

But I also know how baby formula is not always safe. (YES I HAVE USED FORMULA.... not saying anything bad about it.)

It just makes me sad that someone is choosing to give up. Someone is choosing to not give something that is truly the healthiest option for their special baby. Now, besides my husband..... no one is our family is as gun hoe about breastfeeding as I am. Sometimes I think I am looked at as someone who "can not cut the cord" (if you know what I mean.) Which is fine...... no one makes any negative comments (family if you are reading this post THANK YOU for not making negative comments.) I think it is one thing to "think" negative comments.... but to actually say them is another. (But really... that is another topic for another day!)

Sometimes I wish I could nurse all formula fed babies. When I hold a teeny tiny baby, that I know is formula fed, I just want to get them into "position" and give them the nummie stuff! (But I don't.. man could you imagine the backlash that would cause! Once again I quote my 3 year old... "OUCHY!")

I guess I can't breastfeed every baby, I know I can't reach every mummie. I know not every mummie wants to be "educated" on breastfeeding. I know not everyone understands what formula companies put in their products. I know not every mummie understand that the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding is the hardest... and it does get better. But I just wish EVERY mummie would give it the "old college try" WITH EVERY BABY they have. Not just a two or three day try... but a real honest to goodness try. I would be more than happy to help! Call me! Email me! Anything! I am more than happy to help and support you!

Just a lesson I have to learn I guess. Breastfeeding is not as important to others as it is to me.



  1. I so hear and feel you! HUGS MOMMA!!!

  2. I have been there, too. It makes me sad. have a family member who doesn't want to breastfeed because it means she will have to be responsible for the baby at all times. She wants to be able to pass baby off and not HAVE to take care of him/her. She did the same with her other two. It's very sad. :(

  3. I agree that it is difficult to see people not even try. And saying that they've done it with a different child doesn't count because every child eats differently and it's always a different experience. I wish that Dr.'s would support it more and people would just give it 3-4 weeks before saying 'No, I can't'.

  4. This just makes me soooooo sad because she has lost precious children before and breastfeeding cuts down on the chance of many illnesses and causes of death. =( Of course, you can't say this because she'd freak and disown you probably, but it must be killing you. =(


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