Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Mummie's Nummies graduate

What has happened? When did I enter a time warp? What happened to my first miracle Nummie Lover? I remember Pooker's birth like it was yesterday..... but really it was 45 months and 21 days ago. I remember the 41 hours of labor, the 40 minutes of pushing, the WIDE eyed miracle looking straight at me as I pushed one last time.
(Moments after being born... see... WIDE eyed)

(1 day old)

How she NEVER left our room, at the hospital. How could we trust someone with her, when it was a struggle to even have her? The fear of losing her as she stopped breathing at 3 days old. The rush to the Emergency Room, the ride in the Ambulance as they transferred her to Children's Health Care of Atlanta. The battery of tests her little body went through. The health issues, the medicine, the side effects, the Apnea Monitor wires worn 24/7 and the pain she experienced (for so long) at such a young age.

(10 days old. The white and black wires are connected to her chest and to the monitor that would sound when she stopped breathing. Oh yeah, and that is me too.)

Her extreme shyness that lasted for 2 years, the sweet moments only we saw, her silliness we call "Pooker'isms".... everything has been collecting, building to this moment. This day I never thought was coming, the day that was sooooo far in the future...... that is was so out of reach/out of mind. BUT this morning I found the day was here, and I was not ready.

Today my Pooker, the original Nummie Lover started Pre-K.
(Here she is with her big girl book bag and big girl lunch box. Her smile was contagious as was her excitement.)

We have been working for a week now on what to expect on her first big day. She understood that Mommy, Daddy and Sissy would drop her off, at school, but we would come and pick her up. (I even offered a special trip to McDonald's for lunch!)

She woke up this morning with such excitement. She told me "Mommy, I big enough now! I can go to school today!" Then she ran into Kit Kat's room (thankfully she was already awake) and said "KK I am big enough, I can go to school today. You can't, you're not big enough. But we can go to McDonald's after school!" Kit Kat then said "and Mickey too?" (For some reason she thinks McDonald's is where Mickey Mouse lives....maybe she is thinking Donald Duck? I don't know! hehe)

Pooker then asked me "Mommy, will you miss me?" I responded "Of course I will, my love." Pooker: "It's okay Mommy, I will be back."

OH my big girl! What happened! Where did my baby go?
She is acting like she is all ready to leave me.... LEAVE ME! MEEEEE! ME 
How did that happen?

I am happy to announce that as we walked into her classroom, my shy Pooker had returned. She no longer was Little Miss Big Girl, as she clung to my leg. This lasted for about 5 minutes..... then she realized her favorite cousin, Cooper, was there too. (The reason she is in this classroom...... the best way to get her used to not being with Mommy...... give her to "Peeper" she calls Cooper.)
We said our goodbyes and gave hugs and kisses. We waited until she had her back to us (playing with "Peeper") and we left. (Okay well I say "left" but I hung outside the door......waiting. Waiting for a sign, a cry, a whimper, anything.) But there was nothing. So I took a few more steps.... and repeated the above "leaving" process.

With my chin quivering...... I followed my husband and Kit Kat out the door and down the steps. Listening to Kit Kat say "That not fair!" as her legs were too short to easily manage the steps. (hehe....)

We all (minus Pooker) got in MeeMee (the mini van) and I sat there for a few seconds. "Are you going to be okay?" my husband asked. "Yup." More chin quivering. "Oh man..." he responded.

Yes, I did put MeeMee in reverse and drive away. (It took everything I had.) Only to hear my husband say "That window is  her classroom. She is in that window.".......More chin quivering and nose sniffs.

It is now 15 minutes before we leave to pick her up...... I feel like I have ants in my pants. Kit Kat has been asking "Where's Josy?" all morning. She is not used to this change either. OH MAN!! I just realized....I will have to go through this with Kit Kat?! OH HECK NO! How much is the "stop the whole growing process" bubble and where can I get it?!

** Disclaimer. I have worked with children most of my working life. I have been the teacher who calmed the sad and grieving parents. I have been the one to assure them that their baby would be safe (with me.) But their baby was in my care.... I knew they would be safe. But now... I am that parent. I am the one who is freaking out. My baby is in someone else's hands. Someone else is taking care of Pooker, keeping her safe, teaching her. It is my turn to put my first most precious cargo in someone else's hands. As a parent.... that is one of the hardest things to do.**

Our world just got a whole lot bigger.

Time to go get my baby..... I think I will be waiting in the car line for a while...... I see us being pretty early! (Or running in the building screaming "WHERE'S MY BABY POOKER?!!!")



  1. So bittersweet! I still remember looking at my firstborn for the first he is a 5th grader, an inch shorter than me and getting ready to go to middle school in the fall! It happens too fast and every moment is so precious!

  2. So sweet Jacky. It's amazing how fast they grow up. I think back to talks in your hot tub and the things that used to worry us back then. Now look at us. All grown up with kids of our own and sentimental tears too boot! I hope she has lots of stories to share with you :) Tomorrow will be easier.

  3. I remember that pain all too well. My DD was only 5 and a half weeks when I left her at daycare. I still cry when I get in the car and drive away and she's now 8 months! *hugs* mama!

  4. Thanks Mummies. @Vanessa...... oh yes I remember those days! hehe

  5. Awww. You made me tear up. My oldest is 3 and will be going to pre k this fall... I'm NOT READY! She is though... she's only 3, how is she old enough?!?!

  6. Hugs Momma. The first day is always the hardest. On a side note, you said Pooker has extreme shyness. Have you ever heard of Selective Mutism? Basically it is a phobia of socializing (normally with strangers but can be with family too). Sierra has it, though we've worked through her issues. Took us one year for her to even speak to anyone in class. And many more for her to speak to other people besides family.


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