A breastfeeding journey breakdown:
5,994 times you nursed (roughly)
101 times you got breastmilk'ed in the face
99 times I got breastmilk'ed in the face!
5 times your diaper "exploded" on me while you were latched on
6 times you tried to "eat" from daddy
3 bottles you threw at me when I "tried" to give you pumped Nummies
2 sippy cups you threw at me when I tried to give you pumped Nummies
2 inches: the length you got my Nip to
8: the number of breastmilk streams I saw at once
7 weeks: age when you stopped nursing at night and slept all night
24 months: our original goal
32 months.......... how old you were when YOU decided you no longer wanted your Nummies.
Yes, it is true. Kit Kat has self weaned. I need to type that again...... Kit Kat has SELF WEANED!! (Can I type it once more?) KIT KAT HAS SELF WEANED!!!
Am I sad? no.
Am I happy? no.
Am I proud? YES.
Do I miss it? No......Yes......No......Yes....NO... YES....... NES (We shall go with NES......combo of NO and YES.)
The journey we have rocked, is nothing short of amazing, exhausting, wonderful, frustrating, perfect, painful, funny, crazy, soothing......I could keep on going. In the 32 months, of our breastfeeding journey, I (WE) have experienced EVERY possible emotion. And we experienced them all TOGETHER.
My BIGGEST supporter has been Kit Kat herself. The way she looked at me when it was time to eat, the way she said "I wan eat you", the giggles, laughs and waves (yes waves! She loved to wave at her Daddy while she was latched on!)...... all of her "Kit Kat'isms" are the reason we made it to our goal (and then some.) She was my biggest supporter (followed by my amazing husband!) Kit Kat is the equivalent to the BIGGEST fan holding the big #1 Foam hand, stomping her feet on the bleachers, "hooting" and pumping her free fist at sport games. Yes...... she was what kept me going.
So if you do not mind......I have written a letter to my sweet girl. My hope is that one day, she will read this and understand what our journey meant. That one day she will experience her very own journey (with her own Nummie Lover)......one day have her very own biggest supporter.
A letter to my sweet Kit Kat,
From the moment I knew you were growing in me......I loved you. I loved you from day 1. I wanted nothing more than to keep you OVERLY safe and give you the best I could. Even before you were bigger than a bean...... I knew we would rock our breastfeeding journey together. I set pretty high goals for us, which is against what "they" say. But, my little Lover Bean...... you stepped right up the plate. Our first experience lasted for 2 hours! You latched on RIGHT away.... and refused to let go! I knew then........ we would met our goal. There were times you wanted sleep more than Nummies......and I of course got nervous! But when you were ready...... you were READY! You expected me to be ready and available at the exact moment, and if I was not.............. well let's just say it was not pretty. I learned VERY quickly you were not one of many patience. And my sweet love...... you are the same way to this day. But I would have it no other way.
I was asked many times when I would "stop" you from breastfeeding. Never once did we waver...... "when she is done, then we will stop" was my answer. It seems you have made it to your finish line. You did it at your own pace, you ran your race and you came in first. I only wish I could give you a medal........as I feel you so very much are deserving of one.
I want to thank you. Probably not something you would expect me to say. But thank you, Kit Kat. You are an inspiration to me. You proved to me that it CAN be done, a newborn can nurse....an infant can nurse..... a talking toddler can nurse. It can be done...... and it is a natural progression. You taught me to be proud of my decisions, of my choices. You have shown me that I can be the parent I want to be...... that going with your "mummie gut" can be done.... and should be done.
Breastfeeding is more than providing nutrition, it is an accomplishment, a confidence booster/creator. Something that only I was able to give you........ in a way, it was my special gift to you. You allowed me to give you this special gift, and I will forever remember every moment we shared.
Today, as you woke up and said "Mommy, I no want to eat. I want some water" I knew our journey had reached its ending point. When I told daddy (and you have an amazing Daddy!) he looked at me with concerned eyes and asked if I was okay. I looked at you as you walked around the living room, as happy as can be, and I realized........ I am "okay." I am more than okay. I may have tears in my eyes...... but they are not tears of sadness..... they are tears of accomplishment, tears of pride. Will I miss our moments? Yes. But they will never be forgotten. You have self weaned. We did it on our terms and we did not let others decided our journey. My baby is growing and I know I gave you the best possible start.
Thank you my sweet Kit Kat...... Thank you for being you and allowing me to rock the breastfeeding journey with you. You are my rock star and today.... you are a Nummie Lover Graduate. Throw that cap HIGH into the air, my little love. You deserve it.